I used to avoid my bank app like it was cursed.
If I was running low on money, I didn’t want to know. I’d wait until payday to check my balance. I’d pay bills late - not because I didn’t care, but because the act of looking at the numbers filled me with dread. And when I did finally sit down to “budget,” it was more like scribbling out a loose plan I already knew I wouldn’t follow.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be responsible. It was that I was already overwhelmed. Looking at the reality of my finances felt like staring straight at a problem I had no idea how to fix.
But here’s what I’ve learned: avoidance feels safe, but it’s not. It’s expensive - mentally and financially.
The Catch-22 of Financial Avoidance
If you’ve ever said, “I can’t afford to budget,” I get it. When you’re living paycheck to paycheck, tracking every dollar can feel like rubbing salt in a wound. But ironically, that’s exactly when you need a budget the most.
The less money you have, the more important it is to know exactly where it’s going.
But instead, we:
• Pay bills at the last minute
• Swipe with crossed fingers
• Avoid the credit card statement
• Ghost the bank notifications
It’s a coping mechanism. Our brains are wired to protect us from stress, and for a lot of us, money is a major source of it. So we ignore it, hoping that maybe it’ll hurt less if we just don’t look.
Why Avoidance Happens (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)
A few psychological concepts help explain this:
• The Ostrich Effect: When we avoid uncomfortable financial truths (like that overdraft we definitely saw coming), we’re basically channeling our inner ostrich - head in the sand, pretending the problem isn’t waving at us from the corner.
• Present Bias: We prioritize immediate relief (not looking) over long-term gain (looking and then course correcting to build stability).
• Cognitive Overload: Financial stress eats up our mental bandwidth, making it harder to think clearly or plan ahead.
Avoidance isn’t a flaw in your character, it’s a response to stress. And let’s be honest, the world doesn’t exactly make managing money easy.
Why Knowing Your Numbers Matters, Even If You Can’t Change Them Yet
We have this idea that budgeting only works if you can make big changes right away - cut expenses, boost savings, pay off debt. We want to see progress quickly, but that doesn't always align with our reality. Maybe we can't put anything towards savings right now, maybe we don't have enough for extra debt payments. But the truth is, the simple act of knowing where you stand is powerful all on its own.
When I finally sat down with a plan and a clear intention to just understand my money, not fix it, I felt oddly relieved. For the first time, I wasn’t avoiding or spiraling. I was just… looking, but this time, with a plan and intentions. And that alone felt productive.
I knew I couldn’t change everything overnight, but I could make sense of the chaos. I could spot patterns. I could prepare for the bills I used to forget. And slowly, that clarity gave me space to make better choices, one small step at a time.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to know where you are. Because once you do, you can start moving in the right direction, even if it’s just an inch at a time.
How to Start When It’s Scary to Look
If you’re in that avoidant phase, here’s how I recommend starting:
• Don’t judge yourself. You’re not “bad with money.” You’re just doing your best with what you have, and what you know right now.
• Set a timer for 10–15 minutes. That’s it. Look at your account, or start tracking your expenses, then walk away. It doesn’t have to be an all-day project.
• Track, don’t fix (yet). Just figure out what’s coming in and going out. No pressure to overhaul anything.
• Celebrate small wins. Looking at your budget for the first time? That’s a win. Realizing where your money is going? Another win.
The Bottom Line
Saying “I can’t afford to budget” feels true in the moment - but the reality is, you can’t afford not to.
Avoidance feels easier in the short term. But knowing your numbers, without shame or panic, is how you begin to take your power back. Even if nothing changes yet, you do. And that’s where real change begins.
When I finally built a simple budget (with a spreadsheet I could actually understand), the real shift wasn’t in the numbers - it was in me.
I felt less anxious.
I stopped feeling powerless.
I started making better decisions. Not perfect ones, but better.
All because I looked.
If you’re ready to stop guessing and start getting clear on your finances, even if you’re not ready to change everything yet, the spreadsheet I use might help you too. It’s simple, beginner-friendly, and designed to give you a clear view of your income, spending, and goals, all in one place. No judgment, no overwhelm. Just a tool to help you take that first step with a little more confidence.
About the Author: I’m Autumn, the creator of Tulip Road Studio and someone who didn’t grow up learning how to manage money, but learned the hard way why it matters. After years of budgeting with pen, paper, and crossed fingers, I built tools that actually made it easier to see where my money was going, and do something about it. Now I share what I’ve learned to help others get clarity, confidence, and control over their finances - one budget at a time.